The way I feel
by Lil Pyromaniac
Summary: You really like your best friend... And they know, but they're already taken... The rating is only T because of some language.


**A/N:  
Thank you to anyone that's reading this!**

**This is just a random one-shot 'slightly' based on real life for me. It's told from a brooding and a little depressive Naruto's point of view, and if you're wondering Naruto is kinda me. I know it's not completely to character and all, but I don't really care with this one.**

**I hope you like.**

**I don't own Naruto, only this story.**

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**The way I feel…**

I get slowly out of bed, still half asleep, and dread the day ahead. I check my timetable to pack my bag. _Ooh… Today may not be so bad, I've got Wood Tech and Visual Arts…_

I walk out the door and catch the bus to school. The morning goes by quick and fairly fun, Art and Wood Tech are spent making jokes with friends I have in those classes, getting work done of course.

But I can't get a subject off my mind…

Then lunch comes…

_What do I do…? I'm always stupid enough to put myself in corners, surrounded by a problem I find overly awkward…_ I sit at the lunch table, staring at its silver surface. A strange mixture of nerves, boredom, and annoyance stir in me.

"Hey, Naruto, have you seen Sasuke?" The irritating pink haired girl asks as she sits across from me.

I don't look up or show any sign of acknowledgement, I just point to him as he walks over, a couple of our other friends with him. I always seem to know where he is, without even trying. He sits next to me, which I don't find strange, we are best friends after all.

Sakura, the pink haired girl frowns at his choice of seating and moves to sit on the other side of him, seemingly proud of herself as she does so, "So, Sasuke, you said that you might be able to take me to the movies tonight…"

I block out her voice…I don't want to hear it…_ Of course he can take you to the movies tonight, and for two reasons: one, because you two go out. And two, because you won't stop god damn nagging him!_ Of course, I feel strongly for Sasuke, I really like him… and he knows it…

_I don't know what's worse… Him finding out in the first place or the fact that after he found out… what he told me…  
_******* "Hey… I think that I really like you too… But I have Sakura… And anyway, if I broke up with her just to be with you, that wouldn't look good and you probably wouldn't trust me any more… I just wanted you to know that…" *******

_I never wanted him to find out in the first place. I had been hiding it for so long, and all because I knew he's with Sakura… I might not like the girl, but I just don't do that to people… I couldn't live with myself if they broke up and it had anything to do with me… _

_I'm just happy that Sakura hasn't found out, she'd hate me more if she knew… She hates me enough already, 'taking her precious Sasuke away from her', she says. 'He's always spending time with me and not her'… And how in hell is that true, the only time I really see him is at school, or talk to him on my rare visits to the internet._

_God Damnit, I hate her!... and I don't even know her that well… except that she's a jealous, unfaithful, wining bitch… Jez I'm harsh…_

… _How the hell did he end up with someone like her!_

"-ruto… Hey, Naruto?... Hey, are you alright…?" Sasuke asks, snaping me from my thoughts, worry tinting his voice.

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine," I smile a little to reinforce my false statement.

"Are you sure? You seem depressed…?"

"No. I'm just thinking. That's all…"

A smirk touches his lips, "Well, no wonder you look depressed, if that's what you're trying to do."

"Heh… yeah," I take his joke and play along with it, surprised that he actually believed me.

_I know that we muck around and all, and we've even had people question us 'do you two go out now?' Of course, I answer the same every time, 'No, he still has Sakura,' as I stare blankly ahead. A couple of our friends that know that I like him sometimes throw in the comment 'you should break up with your girlfriend and go out with Naruto.' This makes me extremely uncomfortable… But I deal with it, play it off as a joke..._

I'm pulled from my thoughts again by Sasuke, "Do we have chemistry next?"

"Yeah, I think we do." _Why couldn't you have just asked Shikamaru, I'm sure he would have told you... Though, you do tend to rely on your best friend a lot, don't you?... And 'I' am your best friend..._

_I still find it amazing that our friendship has stayed so strong, even after he found out… Nothing much has changed, there's just now the fact that I like him hanging over our heads all the time…_

I hear the bell ring back in reality. I pull myself from my thoughts, stand and go to follow the crowd of students to class.

"Wait up!" By the voice, I'm judging that it's Sasuke that has just grabbed my arm, "Where are you going in such a hurry?"

"… To class, where else?" I answer.

He lets go of my arm and we walk in stride to class.

_He probably won't break up with her, even if he wants to. And no matter how much she threatens to dump him and that weird stuff, she probably won't… she knows she has someone too good to give up..._

I sit at our usual table, Sasuke next to me as normal and open my book and have a pen in hand to make it look as if I'm doing work, and the teacher starts talking.

"… So, Naruto, I notice that every time I've asked you this question, even since before I found out how you feel, that you find some way to avoid it or just plain not answer it. What do you think of Sakura…?" Sasuke seemed to really want to know what I thought.

I mentally sigh, "I'm not going to answer that… you should have guessed that by now."

"Why won't you tell me what you think?"

_Because I'm not a prick that goes yelling what's always on my mind and possibly altering people's lives! No matter if I hate or love them, or if I know them or not. I don't want to be the one that just happens to unconsciously tip that scales in people's lives… _

"I won't tell you coz' it's not right for me to make a comment on such subject… and I don't want to."

"Come on, you can tell me…"

I sigh out loud this time, "Fine… You want to know what I think about her… Well, I don't think it's good for you to be in a relationship where her parents just about want to murder you… for whatever their reason… She's 'always' threatening to break up with you, I mean half the time you don't even know if the two of you still go out or not anymore… She's been unfaithful to you before, and God only knows if she's done it since… She screams at you, if by chance, you say that you'd like to spend a little time with friends, just for one weekend, instead of with her. She nags, begs, threatens, lies, cheats, pretends and uses… That's what I make of her.  
"Of course, I don't personally know her that well. I only know what I see and hear about her… And I mostly hear about her from you, and look at the type of person you depict in your words to me. Though, I know she's not a nice person, because she treats you like shit and you just stay with her, trying to keep focus of her good points, which I've never been told of.  
"I can only one day hope to be as lucky as her… even if I am the one that has to pick up the broken pieces she leaves, I'll do it… I'll still count myself as lucky, somehow…" With that I shut my book and walk out of the class room, emotions stiring strong inside me. Sasuke shocked and speechless.

The teacher notices my exit and shouts at me, "Uzumaki! Where do you think you're going!... Hey, Uchiha, you get back here too!..."

_Great… that means he's followed me… Me leaving him did mean that I wanted to be alone… but nooo, that wouldn't be possible at a time like this…_

I round a corner in hope of losing him, but that plan is long gone when I stop dead at what I see.

Sasuke grabs my arm, "Naruto, why did you… Sakura…? Sai…?"

Sakura pulls away from Sai and turns to face us, shocked, "Sasuke… It's not w-what it looks like… I can explain…"

"Hn… I bet you can… Would the explanation be just another one of your lies to me…?" Sasuke stands next to me, hand still on my arm.

"Does this not surprise you at all, Uchiha?" Sai, the boy now wrapping his arms around Sakura's waist, seemingly emotionless and uncaring as to what's happening.

"… No, it doesn't. I saw you two, two or three weeks ago…" Sasuke replies, almost bored.

"Then… then why didn't you break up with me…?" Sakura asked, still shocked.

_Yes… If this is the case, then why didn't you break up with her?… _I think bitterly, waiting ever-so-eagarly for his answer.

"I did… You just never seemed to get the message, no matter how blunt I told you… You're an ignorant and vein bitch who only hears and sees what she wants…" Sasuke almost spat at her.

_I've never heard him speak so… hate filled toward anyone… And if this is the case… and you said you liked me… why didn't you… tell me…? Besides that fact, I'm your best friend, that should be enough reason to tell me. Did you expect that I'd assume I'd be going out with you as soon as I heard you weren't with… 'it'…? Do you really think I'm like that…? I know that you may need time, and just a best friend there to support you… As long as I'm somehow by your side I'm happy, even when I feel sad…_

"Sasuke… Why didn't you tell me? I'm your best friend."

"Naruto… I haven't taken Sakura out in 'weeks', I've barely been paying any attention to her, and I've been spending more time with you. I would have thought that you'd notice."

"... You do realise that things need to be told to me straight, not just think that I might see what should be obvious… It is me we're talking about after all…" I insulted myself, but in most cases it was true.

"I'll definitely have to remember that," And I didn't get a chance to say anything else, because his lips were crushing mine, much to my shock.

As we parted, he slid an arm around my waist and pulled me with him as he walked off, glaring a cold hate filled stare at the two left in the hall, me still in a daze...

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**Well, if you're reading this from my other story "When fighting turns to", than thank you for reading the A/N and looking at this story!**

… **Please review and tell me what you think… This is a very 'thought' written story and I'd like to know if it works.**

**=-)**


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